What I thought was “a memorable moment”…

It seems many of the moments, important or close relationships, or things I remember with great fondness or as “top memories” in my life that have involved other people, are often not even remembered by those other people at all …

It’s really awkward when I find that out. It rather harshly diminishes what I thought was special, and I wonder how my interpretations missed the boat so wildly… and then I don’t know what to do with the newly-shredded remnants of great feelings I had apparently erroneously attached to them.

I try to tell myself the memories and my feelings about them are personal and are still worthy even if they weren’t shared, but part of the greatness was the “shared” bit… that apparently wasn’t what I thought it had been. Sort of feels like having the joy slapped out of you. The slap is more memorable at that point than the joy was, and it all gets tangled together very messily.

Confusing and convoluted … and I think probably typical for autistics.

Published by

Unknown's avatar

StepnAhead

Surviving a bumpy childhood filled with the extremes of adversity and adventure, disabled at age 27, diagnosed autistic as a middle-aged adult, this is my journey of self-rediscovery, forgiveness, curiosity and compassion and the story of how I am finding my way over and around the obstacles in my path. These are my dreams, my struggles, my triumphs, my questions, and my epiphanies.

Leave a comment